How you behave is a way of letting your family and friends know what’s going on inside of you.  But some children are very good at hiding what’s going on inside of them.  Some children try to act like they are fine, even though they are hurting very, very much on the inside.

 Sometimes parents or other adults say, “She’s the same as always; she’s fine.”  “He’s playing baseball so everything must be okay.” 

It takes a lot of energy to appear like nothing is hurting inside. 

For some children, grades at school go up. 
For some children, grades at school go down. 

Some children eat more.
Some children don’t feel like eating.

Some children become very active; they have to be doing something all the time.
Some children become very quiet; they prefer to spend time by themselves.

Some children have a lot of energy.
Some children have no energy.

There is not one right behavior.  Just like everyone shows their feelings differently, just like everyone’s grief is unique, so are everyone’s behaviors different.  

The rules about behavior are the same as the rules about thoughts.  There are hardly any rules.  The only behaviors that are bad (unhealthy) behaviors are those that can hurt you or someone else. 

If you find yourself doing things that are dangerous to you or other people, talk to a safe adult.  Tell them your thoughts, feelings, and actions.  Tell that person that you’re worried about your behaviors.  For most children, adult family members are helpful.