If you are reading the information on this web site, it is most likely because you want/need to find ways to support a grieving child/teen. Please make sure to also read the materials included in the children and teen sections. These are the materials your child/teen is reading and much of the information also applies to adults. See Children and Teens.
In the pages that follow, the focus is on what happens when a mom dies. Much of the information, though, also applies to people who have experienced the death of someone they loved, such as a dad, a brother or sister, a grandparent, another family member, or a good friend. Definitions - Grief refers to the strong emotions that happen when someone dies. Bereavement is a life long process of adaptation to the death of a loved one.
Grief is an Individual Journey: When a family member dies, each family member will experience a wide range of emotions, thoughts and behaviors. It is important to remember that everyone will follow their own path through the grief journey and there are no right or wrong ways to grieve (except for the "Red Flag" Behaviors under How Can I Tell if my Child/Teen Needs Help) and there are NO TIME FRAMES FOR GRIEF. We each have our own self-regulating internal time clock and we will grieve as we need to. We can prolong the grief journey by ignoring or judging our feelings, thoughts and behaviors. The longer we postpone something, the longer it will take to heal and the larger it may be come. If we ignore something, it rarely goes away....it just has to get bigger, louder and more violent in order to get our attention. Learn to acknowledge whatever it is you are experiencing and learn some skills and tools to cope with and properly express your feelings and thoughts.
Individual and Family Responses to Grief - Mimi Mahon
Grief is an individual journey - Mimi Mahon
Grief, Bereavement, is a Life Long Process of Adaptation: When a mother dies, each member of her family has a lot of work to do. Grief, bereavement, is about figuring out how to adapt to someone's death - to their no longer being physically present in your life. This is a life long process of adaptation for everyone.
Grief - When is it Over? Mimi Mahon
Grief - A Life Long Process - Hope Edelman
"He did very well until recently..." Sue H.
Adapting to a Mother's Death: In many families, the mother is the center of household and child rearing activities. When she dies, her grieving husband, siblings, mother, father, friends, etc. have the added responsibilities of meeting day to day family needs as well as supporting the children/teens during their grieving process.
Mom as Emotional Champion - Hope Edelman
"The mother is the goddess of small things..." Hope Edelman
Surviving Fathers/Grieving Husbands - Laura Munts
Hear from a surviving father - "And Kevin said..." Harry M.
"The grieving is still there for me..." Bill D.
