"When we do our tradition" - Chudney M.
"Sometimes around homework time" - Bill D.

How do you keep your mother a part of your life?  Some teens are afraid they’ll forget their mother’s voice, the way she looked or her smell, what they did together, etc.  There are a lot of things that can be done to help you remember.  Your mother will always be a part of your life.  You will always remember her.  The ideas here are some ways that other teens have found to help them remember certain events or times with their moms or other people who have died.  

"By still practicing traditions" - Alexis D.
"Thank you mom for all those Thanksgiving dinners" - Chudney M.
"We know that children stay connected" - Hope Edelman
"When someone’s mom dies" - Kevin M.

Traditions and Simple Pleasures

Photos

Home Movies

Memory Boxes and Other Keepsakes

Stories


Traditions and Simple Pleasures

If there was something you did with your mother or someone else close to you, you can still do those things.  If you baked holiday cookies, or went to the mall, or watched movies, or listened to music, or ate at a favorite restaurant, you can still do those things.  It won’t be the same.  You might even get sad doing it.  But it’s a way to keep your mom closer.  Continuing traditions is what Mommy’s Light is all about.  For all of us, traditions are a way to honor the past, celebrate the present and build the future.  What did you love to do with your mother?  Remember as many of the details as possible.  Tell them to an adult or write them down.  Ask an older family member or safe adult to help you keep your cherished activity alive – keeping it as close to what you used to do with your mother as you want.

"Much of the grieving process is a painful process"-  Laura Munts
"While Mommy’s Light focuses on" - Laura Munts
"The best thing about carrying on traditions" - Kevin M.
"For my tradition" - Alexis D.

Photos 

Do you have a stack of photos of your mother?  Do you have a lot of pictures on your computer?  Is there a big picture on the wall that you really like to look at?  What can you do to keep those pictures so you’ll always have them?  Can you put them in an album?  Can you put them in a special box?  Can you put them in a frame or make a collage? 


Home Movies

When your mother dies, it’s very difficult to know that you’ll never see her make a certain gesture again, or that you’ll never hear her voice.  Many families have video cameras.  Sometimes your mother’s voice is on the answering machine.  When someone dies, people often ask, “Is there anything I can do?”  If you know someone who is good with computers or videotapes, ask for their help.  Can they make copies of all the family’s videotapes?  Can someone make a copy of the answering machine recoding just for you?  Usually there are ways to do this.  If you don’t know someone who is good at this, ask a teacher at school.  Usually the teacher will know someone at school who has those skills. 

Memory Boxes and Other Keepsakes

Besides pictures, there maybe a lot of things that remind you of your mother, or special times that were shared.  It might be something special that belonged to her.  What do you have?  Some people like to keep these things together.  Memory boxes are unique because they’re yours.  You make something a memory box because you put into it things that help you remember your mother.  For some people, it’s a shoe box.  For some people it’s a box that was used to mail something to your home.  For some people, it’s a plastic box with a lid that’s often used for storage.  It’s a memory box because you want to use this box to store things that are special to you. 

What are some other keepsakes you can think of?

A favorite piece of clothing or jewelry your mom always wore.

A memory pillow with your mom’s picture on it.

A memory garden.

A memory locket.

There’s not a right or a wrong way to have a memory box or keepsake.  It’s whatever helps you.

Stories

It has been said, “We don’t remember days, we remember moments.”  How you remember your mother is about those moments.  Do you want to preserve those moments, those stories?  There are several different ways you can do that.  You can write them in a journal.  Some people like to say their stories into a tape or digital recorder.  Some people like to video tape their stories.  Some people like to have a special file on their computer where they type and save the stories.  Many people find it helps to share the stories.  Sharing stories can be recording them for yourself, or it can be telling or showing them to other people.  Who can tell you stories that are special about your mother?  Is there a special story that you want to share with someone else who was close to your mother?